dirtyberd
Slam poetry. Yelling. Angry. Waving my hands a lot. Specific point of view on things. Cynthia. Cyn-thi-a. Jesus died for our Cynthia’s. Jesus cried. Runaway bride. Julia Roberts. Julia rob-hurts. Cynthia. Mmmmm Cynthia, you’re dead. You are dead. Be boop beep you’re dead.
Schmidt, 22 Jump Street (via joshbgosh1)

I have never laughed so hard in a movie theater before

(via dirtyberd)
stay-calm-and-never-grow-up

At the grocery store

  • Woman: *on cellphone* Why am I leaving you? Why am I--I'll tell you why.
  • Woman: Here's why. You don't respect me.
  • Woman: You called me a whore in front of my children.
  • Me: *says nothing, but has a face like O.O*
  • Woman: You don't respect me. And you know, there some white chick here in the store, she walking, she heard me say that and she make a face.
  • Woman: Because even she know you a piece of shit.